The Power of “And” in Feedback
Constructive feedback is crucial for team building, yet it’s often hindered by the word “but.” This exercise teaches participants to replace “but” with “and,” transforming feedback into a positive, collaborative experience. This simple shift can dramatically improve how feedback is received and foster a more open, supportive team environment.
When to use this feedback activity
Use this feedback activity for team building when feedback isn’t being well-received, when individuals feel unheard, or when there is no time or materials for elaborate preparation.
This exercise is highly effective in promoting attentive listening and enhancing communication among team members. It serves as an excellent feedback activity for employees, encouraging a more constructive feedback culture.
Steps for Conducting the Feedback Exercise
- Step 1: Have participants pair up.
- Step 2: Each participant has 30 seconds to think of something she likes about the other’s outfit and one way the outfit could be improved.
- Step 3: The first participant tells the other what she likes first, then says, “but. . .” and finishes the sentence with how it could be even better.
- Step 4: The other participant then does the same to the first participant.
- Step 5: Now have each participant repeat what she just said, replacing ”but” with “and.”
Practical Examples
To illustrate the effectiveness of replacing “but” with “and” in feedback, consider these examples:
- “I like that tie, but it would bring out your blue eyes better if it was red.”
- “I like that tie, and it would bring out your blue eyes better if it was red.”
- “That is a nice dress, but you would look even more professional if you had earrings, too.”
- “That is a nice dress, and you would look even more professional if you had earrings, too.
These examples demonstrate how small changes in language can transform feedback into a more supportive and positive experience.
Questions for Feedback Activity Reflection
After completing the feedback team building exercise, facilitate a discussion with these questions:
- How did it feel to hear “but?” (Annoying, defensive, insincere, etc.) How did it feel to hear “and?” (Helped, respected, supported, etc.)
- What does “but” usually mean? (Disregard what you just heard, because here is the real truth.)
- Why do we say “but” so often when giving suggestions or feedback?
- What implications does this have for us back on the job?
These questions will help enhance team communication and the overall effectiveness of feedback sessions.
Variations of the Team Communication Exercise
To enhance the effectiveness of feedback activities for employees, consider these variations that encourage productive communication:
- The more personal the feedback, the better. If the group is uncomfortable giving feedback on each other’s outfits though, select something else, such as the coffee in the lunchroom, a movie they have both seen, and so forth.
- After the meeting, ask for feedback on the meeting without the “but.” (I liked that we had an agenda, and next time I hope we can stick to it better.)
- If the group is comfortable giving feedback to each other already, have them do it on their recent job performance rather than their outfit.
- Add an element of fun to this activity by starting with participants making something creatively (with clay, markers, balloons, building blocks, etc.), and then give the feedback to each other about the creation rather than their outfits.
Conclusion
Integrating these feedback activities into regular team communication practices can significantly increase collaboration and performance. By replacing “but” with “and,” teams can create a more positive and constructive feedback culture, leading to better outcomes and a more cohesive work environment. These feedback exercises are versatile and can be tailored to suit various team dynamics and situations, making them a valuable tool for any organization.
Source: Miller, Brian. Quick Team-Building Activities for Busy Managers. New York: AMACOM, 2004. Print.
